Oh Ya! Marriages are made in Heaven … and _________ on Earth (Fill In The Blank - No Right Answer); then there is the Theory Of Exceptions. But not the best match, or probably no match. I guess all my friends have been thru the torture of finding and settling down for the one and yes few fantasize to call them SoulMates. Soul-mates do not hurt; only few realize it the hard way.
Well, it’s my turn now to find the one. But how do I know the one; when I had seen people crushed down; married and separated;; things didn’t work because of in-laws; it was my husband’s best friend; didn’t find me good-looking enough to settle down, and "see-our-marriage-is-a-mistake--- A-Terrible-One"; “Your Parents! Don’t they have a life”?
Married in relations, but the in-laws are envious. Married in love, sis-in-law can’t get enough. Broken marriages; married YOU becoz I wanted to get back @ you; madly in love, live in relationships all come to an end within 3 months; Love can’t survive for more than 3 months; and then I also heard someone say Marriage and Love are two different things - FLIRT.
I see bad marriages all around me; the only ones that seem to work were done about 30 yrs ago; others are too short to talk about. The people pushing me into it; it’s not that they are not aware of broken marriages, emotions and the feelings, but they can’t promise things either --- things that are not supposed to happen; THEN why push me!
Things alter when one starts thinking about A spouse; even if it was the best friend; one starts anticipating things, one vows to read other’s minds. Always the wandering thought, will she do that for me? Does he think about me when at work? Does he understand my feelings; w/o saying a word? (Yes, I have read “Men are from Mars and Women From Venus” and its so true). Can he ever choose me over his friends? Why does he not share things? Does she believe in me? Why can’t he understand that I miss him? Why doesn’t she answer my call? etc; too many questions to answer.
Gosh!! Why do people even bother about being in relationships; when they know there is nothing giving? Why people tend to hurt themselves? Marrying high school crush, hope the lady is grown-up.
Not that I am against them or they are bad; its just that it hurts when u don’t see the differences coming. And then, the things about self-sufficiency and reliability. Everything is counted in terms of money and things "I-Do-For-U-And-U-Don’t" !
Ofcourse, I agree, its hard to commit to someone; how do you ever realize that this is the guy? Pity they don’t come with Tags on them. Just imagine, You go out; and see your name written on someone; just walk up and say “Where Have You Been? Was Looking all over the place”. Wouldn’t it be nice. No Nonsense, no fights, no differences; ITS ALL DONE. Only presume, there is no fault in the SHIPPING & LABELLING DEPARTMENT – Fingers Crossed.
I believe in friends, friendships like no other; and probably I will get lonely too, when all my friends are married/engaged; but I will not have to cry over something which was never my fault; though I will miss the “make-me-feel-wanted” or “the-precious-things-I-ever-had” feelings; the pampering. But I will not have to listen to “Do-Nothings” from someone I had hoped to love me for what I am.
I am aware, there is no solution to this, it happened before and will happen again, and keep recurring. Sad/Strange Are The Ways Of Life! But I don’t want to be hurt; is there a way out?
5 comments:
Even the marriages that worked 30 years ago, in my opinion, are not successful. Those were the times when people did not have much expectations from life other than to find a partner and job. They just accepted whatever came their way and that is far worse than getting divorced or being in an unhappy marriage.
Current generation in India is at a tough spot where we are mature enough to think and question everything and on the flip side not yet there where we can be with some one and part ways if we feel we are not correct.
I am now at that stage of life of being pushed into marriage just because I have a job and reaching the 30 years mark. I can relate to your post.
Thank u for writing. I was tired of being called "not optimistic"
thanks for ur comments on my blog.
hi miss shinde( u mentioned in your comments :) ),
thanks for your comments on my blog :)
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